Archive for February, 2007

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occupational hazard

Reading in her Fort

Ava loves books. She has loved them for as long as she has been Ava. They are the first thing she packs in her backpack, asks to take in the car, brings with her in the bathroom, and sneaks into her bed. When her daddy built her a fort, she spend the remainder of the evening reading in it. Lately, these favorite friends have been creating unnecessary pain and hardship for the little reader. Due to a combination of dry air and sharp pages, Ava has been getting a considerable number of paper cuts.

As any mother will tell you, the moment a child discovers an owie, that child needs a bandaid. Now there are only so many bandaids a mother can distribute for the increasing number of paper cuts, and little round, dewy fingers are not quite conducive to bandaids anyway. In my experience, they eventually find their way into Ava’s mouth and then the floor and then need to be replenished.

Yesterday, Ava presented with a paper cut in the crook of her first two fingers. Now how can clumsy bandaid fit in there?? And what good could it possibly do? So I reached into the cupboard and pulled out a ball of white fluff and showed Ava how to hold it between the fingers. To my great surprise, Ava was ecstatic. Cotton balls appear to be the perfect antidote to paper cuts. Ava can now be found about the house with any number of “cotton tails” in the creases of her hands. And yes, I have found a few soggy ones on the floor.

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documenting some of my favorite ava-isms:

  • “fingoo” = finger
  • “bugoo” = booger
  • “hot spider” = hot apple cider
  • “tweezers” = scissors
  • “shocolot” = chocolate
  • “cotton tail” = cotton ball
  • “paper tower” = paper towel
  • “I’m sugaring” = I’m shivering
  • “bite-a-lims” = vitamins

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♪♫ all around her nursery brave Ava chased the badger ♪♫♪♪

Thank you so much for all the badger-relief tips. After almost two weeks of badger occupation, I presented Ava with all the creative ways for emancipation. I was fairly certain the trap was the way to go. However, knowing that Ava had the most first-hand experience with the dreadful badger, I opted to let her lead the operation.

She tilted her head to the side and listened carefully as I explained all the options. After deliberating for a blink, Ava marched to the center of her room and grabbed the scraggly badger by the neck. “Naughty, naughty badger! You must go back to the forest,” she said as she shook him up and down. Then she scrunched the snarly badger up into her fist and said, “POOF!!” as her fingers flailed him out of her room and out of house and into the forest.

The End.

(I hope…)

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A very scary badger has taken up residence behind the radiator in Ava’s bedroom. It’s quite a tricky place to hide as we are neither strong enough dislodge the radiator nor slim enough to get behind it. As it stands there is no possible way to remove the badger.

After a week of encounters, here’s what we know about badgers so far:

  • There are very mean and very bad. If you hear one approaching hurl yourself upon your mama and hurry her into the bathroom. Lock the door “at once” and don’t leave until you are sure the badger has returned to his hiding spot
  • They are supposed to live in the forest. Our badger got lost on the way to the forest.
  • They don’t have hands. So if you shut the door on them you are safe!
  • They make a lot of noise when they are crawling towards you. This give you plenty of time to scramble onto a couch of any sort. Always remember, if you get on the carpet the badger will get you.
  • They don’t like baths. You are always safe in the baths.
  • Nap time is time-out for badgers. They can’t get you when you are sleeping. Note: This is especially helpful for mamas of young, imaginative children.

If you have any helpful information about badgers or about how to remove badgers from bedrooms (or brains), please advise!

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Here’s a picture of Ava and daddy watching the dolphin show with Anna Maria. Wait. You can’t see Anna Maria either? Wow, neither can we. But believe me she was there. We heard about Anna Maria the ENTIRE time. She was always getting lost and falling off people’s laps. It’s amazing how many mishaps a transparent child can find themselves in. She nearly rivaled the animals for Ava’s attention.

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on showering

“do you take a shower because your hair is thirsty?”

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