I started this post five weeks ago. Every day I say to myself this is the day that I’m going to get a chance to blog, and then the day gives way to cuddling, feeding, singing, rocking, staring.
Oh the staring. My eyes never seem to get their fill of this baby.
Before I know it the day is done and I must retreat to my bed before the nighttime feedings begin.
And all I really wanted to say five weeks ago is precisely what I want to say now: I’m head over heels, madly in love with this boy.
Jude has confirmed that two weeks is more than enough time to fall in love. Two days, two hours, two minutes are more than I needed. I knew the moment the doctor lifted that round face over the curtain that my heart would never be the same.
Seven weeks ago, I sat in the hospital twirling my finger in the palm of a tiny hand and gushing about this sweet boy to my friend Jenna. To which she responded, ”The amazing thing about having a baby,” she replied, “is that you get to fall in love all over again. You think that’s over when you get married, but then you have a baby.”
“Oh, it’s true! It’s true! That’s exactly what it’s like.”
And so I’m falling in love all over again.
The amazing thing is that there is no division in love–it isn’t parceled out to Nate and then to Ava and then to Jude. Having a baby is discovering an entirely new reservoir of love.
I have spent the past seven weeks staring and studying this small boy, getting to know him and feeling like I’ve always known him.
I get lost in his wrinkles and could spend hours counting his toes. He has ten. And each one is as kissable as the next.
How many ways can I say that I love him? I’ve already compiled a score of grunts and squeaks, and he hasn’t even started to giggle. My nose is continually searching his scalp for more sweet scents. His skin. It is so soft and so delicious.
“Are you real?” I say each day as I cup his little head in my hands. “Are you mine?”
My arms can’t seem to put him down and each time I pick him up he melts into me as if to say, “remember, we go together.”
I knew that I wanted another child, but I did not know that I would love it this much. I only have one word left.
Bliss.
(The first and third photos are Megan’s. If you live near the Twin Cities you should get to know Megan.)
My heart is still there when I see these pictures. I miss you all so much. Thank you for sharing….your words and pictures are precious.
Beautiful photos, baby, mom, words. I love what you said about discovering a new reservoir of love. Enjoy, bask in it.
Love this! He is adorable, Rachel. The pictures are beautiful, and your words so heartfelt! I’m just so thrilled for you.
Beautiful words, and very well expressed. I was thinking about how this could translates into our Lord loving each one of his children. I can’t begin to imagine his reservoir!
Beautiful. And perfectly put.
Oh, I could kiss those toes too!
He is fabulous.
Rachel,
Oh my dear heavens, he is just AMAZING, Rachel!! I am so in love with Jude and I need to get my hands on him in person soon!!!! Oh thank you for sharing these photographs. He is seriously probably THE most gorgeous boy baby I have ever seen! I am so happy for you, happy for Jude, happy for all of you! Keep getting lost in his wrinkles; it does my heart good to hear that!
I love you!!
Jennifer
Hi, Rachel….
Today is the first day I was privileged to lay eyes on your new little son…what a wonderful miracle and gift from the Lord. I looked at all of the photos and loved each one. Ava is a wonderful and beautiful little sister for Jude Matthew!!! Penny looked at my photos that I posted of my new granddaughter, Teagan Raine, born to Titus & Rochelle on December 4th, but it wasn’t until March 12th when they came for a visit that I was finally able to cradle her in my arms while tears fell on my cheeks. Penny told me about your blog, so that’s where I went, immediately. What a day/season of rejoicing over what the Lord has done. Jude is, indeed, a very handsome little guy!!! May your little family continue to experience the joy and favor of the Lord.
With love to you, Nathan, Ava, and little Jude,
Judy
Those pics are absolutely GORGEOUS!
Oh! My heart is just overflowing. That love for a baby is like nothing else… words fail.
Megan’s photos are beautiful, as always!! Your little Jude is amazing and adorable.
Blessings to you and your family, Rachel!
Rachel, I’m so glad I stopped by your blog tonight to get caught up. For some reason I’ve been thinking about you and your lovely family and was hoping to find out how all of you are doing. This is a beautiful post, and as I’m hours/days/a week away from bringing our own little boy into the world, I was reminded again of the amazing parts of those first few weeks (not just the exhausting ones I’m anticipating
D) just getting to know the incredible new little person that God has brought into your life. I’m so happy for you, Nate, Ava, and Jude, and am even more eagerly anticipating our little Bobby’s arrival! Blessings to you and your family, Kate -Kirsten’s sister
Congratulations! He’s so beautiful, as are the photos and your words. So true. The love. Ugh.